My wife, Lori, and I are not good with houseplants. When she brings home a new plant, I shake my head, knowing the plant's likely demise. I want to pull it aside and whisper, "I'm so sorry she bought you. I promise I'll pray for you."
If plants could muster a police force, they would charge Lori and me with negligent homicide.
So last year, when some well-meaning friends gave us an amaryllis for Christmas, I thanked them kindly.
And as soon as they left, I knelt by their gift and offered last rites for it.