Beagles rock at Westminster

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By The Staff

I'd been looking for the right time to return to this page, and when my ole buddy Uno carted off the top dog ribbon at the Westminster Kennel Club Show last week, I figured the moon and stars were actually aligned.

Words started flowing off my paws again like campaign promises. I could hardly stifle myself.

Yes, it's time for change all right. Why can't a canine run for the White House? Lord knows there's been some dogs already on the campaign trail.

But don't you know, my masters haven't cut me one iota of slack. They don't understand how to treat bloodlines. I still get the kitchen floor at night and that 15-foot-long chain awaits my "constitution walk" every morning.

I know how the boys at the new Taylor County Detention Center are going to feel - short leash and all. Well, at least my chow bowl is full ALL the time, beating those three squares by just a smidgen. I'm not much of a Beanie Weenie fan anyway.

It was good to see a beagle finally making the big time. Did you know that beagles had been in that prestigious show ring for 100 years and not since 1939 had one of us made the final ring of seven?

It's hard to compete against all those prissy French poodles. Where do they get the money for their hairdressers anyway?

I grinned all I could, but the judges have a hard time detecting what my teeth really want to do behind my jowls. I think my droopy ears are a hindrance. No judge thinks I'm having a good time. Believe me, this is as good as it gets.

Enough of that, though. While I'm here, I'm going to weigh in on a few things that have been bothering me.

First, all you Ron Lewis (Daniel London) bashers ... Hey, Ron's a nice guy. I've seen his Christmas cards before and he lets his pets pose in the family photo. I respect that.

He's only got a year to mend a few fences, but he'll be OK now that his hand-picked candidate has decided against a run for his Congressional seat.

I don't know if London has any pets, but I bet if he does he surprises them with last-minute treats.

And Fiscal Court ... I hope your efforts to ban gravel roads in the County road system succeeds. You don't know how hard it is to walk across those things with only a little padding around your toes. Let me know when you finally accept the LAST one so I can start telling my buddies the easiest routes to the rabbit patch.

But while you're at it, you might as well press on with that Herron Road thing. A few of my best friends have literally had a leg up on what's really behind that mailbox in the middle of the road out there off Gaddis Ridge Road. That was some hot blacktop, they say, when it was first laid. And it hasn't cooled off much lately either.

But I don't want to be too negative, so let me say something nice.

It sure has been nice having my master around on Sunday afternoons watching that J.B. Holmes guy on TV.

I think I overheard my master talking about a Masters, or something like that. It's golf's biggest dog show, maybe.

It must be something big because they let a Tiger play in it, too.

Remember, if I'm elected - two beagles in every garage. Write it down.

- Thistle is dog-in-residence at the home of Richard RoBards, publisher of the Central Kentucky News-Journal.